Greg Smith

It's Not About You!



Posted: Monday, January 10, 2011

by Greg Smith

Imagine you’ve just made a speech or presentation to a group of people. As the speaker, what do you think is the best possible response you could receive, following that speech? Most people will incorrectly say, “Applause, or a standing ovation”, and that’s the reason for this article. While applause is nice, it’s not for you, it’s for the audience. The audience customarily claps to show their appreciation. It’s the polite and proper thing to do. Just because their clapping doesn’t mean they enjoyed or appreciated what you had to say. The applause is for the audience, not for you. If they don’t clap, it creates an awkward silence, and makes the audience feel uncomfortable. To avoid feeling awkward and uncomfortable they simply clap for everybody. Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself the next time you’re at a function or live show. Even the crappy comedian gets a nice polite applause.

As a speaker, the absolute best thing you could possibly hear after making a speech is when somebody says to you, “I felt like you were talking directly to me” or, “I could really relate to what you said.” One might wonder as I did when I first heard this, why this is important? When somebody says this to you it means that you CONNECTED with them on a personal level, and that’s what communication is all about. Anytime you speak to a group, you are really just speaking to a gathering of individuals. They all have their own minds, opinions and ideas. When they tell you that you connected with them, you have truly succeeded as a speaker. Communication is like plumbing, connections are the key!

Naturally the question that follows is, “How do I connect with them?” There are many ways you can connect with an audience, all of which require effort, and preparation on your part. One of the best ways to connect is by finding out what frustrates them. For example if you’re talking to a group of airline pilots, try and find out in advance some of the things that bother them, or keep them awake at night. Then talk about those frustrations in your speech, or craft a story around them. The idea here essentially follows the age old principle taught by Dale Carnegie, “You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people, than you can in two years trying to get others interested in you.”

Good communication is not about you, it’s about them!

For more of Greg's articles visit: http://copservations.com
Greg Smith is a police officer, father, husband, educator, writer, speaker and student of life. Some of his previous works have been featured in Readers Digest, Blue Line, Legion Canada, and Our Canada magazines. He also writes a monthly column for his local newspaper on speaking and communication. He also is the author of a personal development blog called Copservations. You can visit Greg's blog at: http://copservations.com

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